Insomnia
by thecatspajamas12
Summary: jack and kate oneshot. set early season one.


Kate:

She couldn't help but feel this tragedy was grounds for a fresh start, a new beginning.

But then why was she still haunted by an overwhelming sense of guilt?

She had set off to the beach, after not being able to sleep, again. It had seemed like a good idea, but everything looked unfamiliar in the dark, and it was hard enough finding the way from the caves to the beach in the daylight. The jungle seemed to be repeating itself, but she was determined and after what seemed like hours, she heard the sound of crashing waves.

She sat down and starred out at the ocean, trying to distinguish where the ocean ended and the sky started, but everything was black, except for the fading light of the signal fire about a half mile to her right. She waited for the sun to come up, when she could distract herself with chores and jack....jack, he was perfect; the nicest guy she'd ever met, with a hero complex and the saddest eyes she'd ever seen. she was so afraid of letting him in, but he seemed to know her. She couldn't be vulnerable to him, she would only wind up getting hurt, and if he knew who she was, what she'd done-he wouldn't even look at her. She couldn't even look at herself. She started to weep, big crocodile tears running down her face, and then he was there. She hid her face in her hands and tried to be quiet.

"shhh, its ok," He was rubbing her back and pulled her into his chest, her head in his neck.

"jack, no-im, im fine-ju,just leave me-alone" she cried between sobs, But his grip on her didnt loosen. He rubbed her back and waited for her to calm down. After a time, he pulled her back to look at her Holding her face gently in his hands, he wiped away the tears under her eyes with his thumb.

"You're ok,"

"Im sorry," she whispered, tears filling her eyes again. She looked down.

"Hey," he lifted her chin up so she was looking at him, she held his gaze. "its ok' he whispered finally and he leaned forward to brush his lips softly against her own, and then again, much longer this time, until she finally pulled away and stood up. " you don't want this, me, Im, i'm...messed up," she said, looking down.

"It's a good thing im a doctor then," and he stood up too.

"You cant fix me," she whispered, backing away.

"Kate, don't do this, don't just...shut down, let me in, tell me whats making you like this?"

"Its just, this island, being stranded-"

"dont give me that bullshit, kate, you dont think i know your not sleeping,"

"And how do you know that if you're sleeping?"

"because...im worried about you," she rolled her eyes at this.

"right, well, dont be,"

"Kate...whoever you were, whatever reason you were in that photo, i dont care, it doesnt matter to me, you can leave it behind you." he said walking towards her.

"Jack, you have no idea..." she broke off to pull herself together, "stop trying to rescue me, just fuck off." She turned away.

"No"

She turned back around to look at him. "Why, why cant you just leave me alone" she was crying now, ugh, what was wrong with her. He just stood there, staring at her, as she glared furiously back.

"I don't know," he whispered and then he was kissing her again, his arms around her, and she gave in. He smelled like rain. He lowered her gently on the sand and he was on top of her, kissing away her tears and her pain. He tasted salty and sweet, like something from her childhood she couldnt quite remember. She pushed her cold hands up his back as he worked his lips down to the nape of her neck and then between her breasts, and then pulled her shirt up the teeniest bit to kiss her hip bone, his whiskers grazing her skin lightly. It had been two years since... She let a sigh escape, but propped herself up on an elbow.

"Jack...jack, lets go slow," she said breathlessly. He rose above her face, propped up onto his elbows, he had the saddest eyes she'd ever seen, but he was smiling, and she smiled too. "sorry," he said softly and kissed her on the mouth, biting her upper lip and running his tongue over her teeth, his breath heavy. and then she was kissing him back, moaning into his mouth. she pulled back, breathless and he kissed her neck, while she kissed his jawbone up to his earlobe, which she bit softly, he moaned and she felt him, heavy on top of her.

One hand was clenched around his shoulder while the other held his head lightly. He kissed her chin and then looked at her in a way no one had ever looked at her before, their noses grazed, but he didnt look away, his eyes asking her if this was slow enough. Screw it, she nodded fervently and he bent down to kiss her hip bone again, and then right above the top of her shorts and then above her navel,slowly working his lips up her body. his hands were running up her sides, pushing up her shirt. he stopped and stared at her again. She lifted up her arms and he pushed off her shirt, never breaking eye contact.

The night air felt good against her flush. She was trembling, and he had made his way to her breast, which he kissed the side of, right above her arm, and then ran his tongue around her nipple. She bit her lip as he moved across her chest and then back up to her face. She was opening his shirt, as fast as she could with shaking fingers and kissed his collar bone while unbuttoning his pants, taking her time. jack sat up and pulled down his pants the rest of the way and then pulled down her shorts painfully slow until he was kneeling at her feet. He seemed to remember something and pulled off his shirt, pulled her up and spread it under her in one quick movement. She realized she was naked and he was looking at her. He pulled her legs apart gently, which were clenched involuntarily together, and fitted his body between them so he was on top of her again, she wrapped herself around him tightly and buried her head into his neck.

He pulled his head up, "you OK?" he said, shakily.

"mm, hmm," Kate said, as bravely as she could and then he was inside her, she moaned into his chest, which rose and fell with the waves. Her lips parted and then she bit down, she could feel his back muscles moving under her hand. Kate had had sex before, but this wasn't sex, this was... making love. Jack kept a hand behind her head, holding her against him. She felt herself tighten around him and then...it was like nothing else she'd ever felt, and it was over. "Kate," she heard him moan softly and they fell, panting into each other and listening to the ocean, her cheek in his hand. she wanted to stay exactly like this forever. but eventually he rolled over,taking her with him, grabbed his shirt to cover her, and she lay against his warm chest, listening to him breath, until she fell asleep.

Jack:

Someone was kissing him, he opened his eyes. The sky was the color of steel, the color of early morning. He closed them again, if felt so good. "wake up," she kissed his ear.

"mmm" he answered, last night was coming back to him.

"come on," she kissed him again and then ran her mouth from his boxers to his belly button, up his chest and then ran her tongue around a nipple. She kissed him hard on the mouth, "its morning," he kissed back, keeping his eyes closed, so she wouldnt stop. she smelled amazing. He rolled on top of her and buried his head in her hair.

"That was the nicest I've ever been woken up,"

"Your all scruffy," she giggled as he rubbed his stubble across her soft skin, tickling her. "We've gotta head back...jack...now,"

"mmm, hm" he said again, running a hand up her leg. he smiled as he felt her shiver. "Jack-" she protested weakly. "its still dark," he mumbled. he ran his hand under her shorts and over her ass, pulling her inner thigh up and working her leg around him and then back to the nook of her back, pulling her closer. "no,,no, no, we're going to get caught," she said weakly, but he couldnt think about gettting caught, he could only think about kate. he rolled her over and ran a hand up her leg and into her shorts, and plunging inside of her, she sucked in a breath sharply. There would be no more arguing. she was warm and wet and so soft. He worked her shorts off and pulled her knees apart, replacing his fingers with his tongue. She tasted salty and sweet. He held her hips firmly and listened to her breath as he ran his tongue over places he knew would make her moan, being a doctor could come in handy. "Jack, Jack..." "Jack come back,"

he pulled back and kissed her softly on the mouth, hoping he could control himself. He could hear his heart pounding. "thank you," she whispered. He rolled off her, with her head under his arm.

"We should head back before the others wake up," she said after a while.

"Well, i don't care if anyone knows about...us."

"Whats to know?" she asked, stiffening. She was looking for a definition, all girls were the same.

"Something, Kate, last night was...there is something here," he said determinedly. Kate seemed to be struggling with something, he was trying to read her.

"We dont have to tell anyone yet." he said, and she relaxed. He noticed he wasnt dressed and suddenly felt very self conscious. He got up to pull on his pants and found his shirt. "Lets go,"

The took their places back at the caves. Her taste was still on his lips. He listened to the water fall and the steady breathing around him and to his surprise, he could fall asleep.


End file.
